I’m gonna make a somewhat outrageous statement…
…and some might not even agree with me!
But here it goes…
You’re lack of experience can actually HELP YOU with women.
But you must make it serve you, instead of hold you back.
You see, it’s all about how you present yourself…
There are two main problems my students have:
1. Too much experience doing doing bad stuff
2. Not enough experience doing anything.
And I honestly have to say, it’s the first group that is the most difficult to train. Here’s why…
Their minds are already full of garbage, so I actually have to GET RID of all
that stuff, and then I can commence teaching.
A lot of these guys have overloaded on information – products, books, seminars,bootcamps – from other companies that only offer superficial methods and techniques.
These guys think there is only ONE thing you can do in any situation – they ask me things like,
“So if she says this, is that when I should disqualify myself?”
“So when you open, how long do you have to wait before you demonstrate higher value.”
The thing is, there are infinite things you can do at any moment of an interaction.
Sure, a lot won’t be good, and a few options will be most conducive to escalation, but the options are so many that memorizing one way to do it will actually hold you back!
I love talking about the turning point in my progress, when I dropped all I
thought I knew, and just went out with an empty mind.
I actually took a girl home that night, after months and months of failure!
And guess what – I had experience at that point, but it was all doing bad stuff.
You may think that you lack experience, and this lack of experience is holding
Or even if you were good with women at one time, and have just “lost your touch,” you may think that you don’t know “enough.”
I’m going to tell you that that’s OK.
Two quick points:
First, you are a human being, designed to mate and survive.
Your body and mind have been cultivated by evolution to deal with a an extreme variety of situations and challenges, and you are built to pass your genes on.
In fact, I’d say it’s the guys who know less, but simply have BALLS and a motivation to improve that turn out to be the best.
One thing about not having a lot of experience being good with women – women can TELL!
This is only a bad thing if you TRY TO HIDE IT.
In fact any kind of hiding your personality comes across to women, and it is the main thing that repulses them.
So stop hiding.
If you are a virgin, but you try to “game” women and be smooth and do all
the right things, she will see right through you.
So it becomes a chicken/egg conundrum – you get stuck in a cycle.
On the one hand, you lack experience, which holds you back.
But this lack of experience itself turns women off, preventing you from GETTING experience.
But look at the underlying problem – it’s not whether or not you have experience – it’s HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT IT.
In both cases, it’s not what you know, it’s how you feel about it – and this is
what’s actually getting conveyed.
I have to say, I’ve dated every kind of woman…and some kind of women were intimidating at first, mainly becuase I hadn’t been with a woman like that
And I used to fake it and act like I was used to girls like her…
But I found it was much more effective to just be honest, but NEVER APOLOGIZE.
What I mean is, I’d say, “you know, I’ve never dated a woman older than 30” or “I don’t meet many Latin women…”
And I’d follow that with, “but so far you’re pretty cool. I like you.”
Here’s a big myth – guys think women have specific types – and maybe they do.
But there’s nothing you can do about that, and in my experience it’s not really true.
I’ve had so many women tell me, “I’ve never been with a guy like you – you’re
totally not the type I usually go for.”
Women respond to more universal, deep principles like confidence, honesty,
Women can smell it when a guy is faking, and they hate it.
Being honest is POWERFUL – it’s so DIFFERENT…and it says great things
Having a specific style, or background, or being at a certain level of experience is MUCH LESS important than being honest, and accepting yourself.
And now I’m gonna add one more piece…
Women LOVE it when a man is curious about them.
And it’s interesting, curiosity is actually the foundation of being great at foreplay at adultfrinendfinder.com login (which is most women’s favorite part of sex).
So if you are honest, and okay with your vulnerabilities (instead of hiding them
like every other guy), you’ll come off secure, even if you lack experience.
But that’s just about you…
Curiosity is about her.
I’ll let you in on a little secret…I was great at foreplay the FIRST TIME I
was with a girl…
I was fascinated by her body, and spent a long time exploring every inch and
detail of her.
She was enthralled, and since then, I’ve only gotten better.
But it took me a long time to realize that I could apply curiosity to conversation as well.
If you are having trouble making progress because you lack experience, try adopting what I call the “student frame.”
There’s an AMAZING scene in The Aviator, where Leonardo Di Caprio (distant relative :), says to a cute waitress, “I want to know what pleases you, I want to know how to make you feel really good. Can I do that for you? Can I have that job?”
And he’s so earnest and sincere…full of desire and curiosity…she can’t resist.
This is the attitude I’m talking about.
Being curious has three advantages that surpass simply knowing a lot or having a lot of notches on your belt.
First, it’s endearing and charming – like a child eager to do well.
Second, it naturally gets you the education you seek, because people, especially women, will love to help you and show you what they want – it appeals to their all-powerful ego!
Third, curiosity surpasses knowledge for two reasons…
a) when you think you know something, your mind is closed to further learning,
b) you’ll never know everything, so knowing nothing is the same as knowing a
fraction of the infinite – they both amount to zero.
I know that second thing might be a little heavy for this article – but it’s a spiritual truth that will serve you to accept yourself and be at peace with the world, especially women.
I have to say, it was only after I adopted a curios mindset, that I was
able to stop going out every night of the week to make an increment of progress.
My learning accelerated exponentially.
A lot of naturals had early experiences that started them on the right path, but
even MORE became good with women simply because they were girl-crazy and sought to know all they could about the female mind and body.
And the feedback women gave them, just from this innocent, sexual, curious
mindset was that of nurturance and encouragement… and they realized that women are not to be feared, but to be loved and enjoyed.
This is the attitude of almost every natural I’ve ever met.
But you can’t get this attitude simply by listening to theory.
You have to experience it for yourself.
I’ve created Drills, and wrote The Attraction Code along with my trainer, Brian, with exactly this in mind.
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