While many people are complaining about how hard it is to meet a high-quality mate online and offline nowadays, there are still many individuals who have found high-quality partners on trusted dating websites. How did they make it happen?
Do you proactively contact other members on a dating site or are you waiting for someone to contact you first?
In life, you either wait or create. Waiters wait until something happens to them, whereas creators go out and happen to things. Are you a waiter or a creator?
Most people are waiters – they create a dating profile and wait for other members to contact them online. Then they complain why they can’t meet high-quality people.
The truth is there are a lot of high-quality daters on a trusted dating website & it is your job to meet them.
A reliable dating site has provided you with a platform for you to meet other users, so you have to understand that it is your responsibility to make great things happen for yourself.
Therefore, instead of passively waiting for a long time, why not create a daily ritual for yourself? For example, every day you send seven messages to seven high-quality daters on a trusted dating site, and then you’ll see what happens.
Please note that not everyone will like your dating profile, so not everyone will respond to your message. And that’s okay! In fact, it is very normal. See it as numbers; don’t take it personal. You are only looking for one person anyway.
As long as your dating profile looks reasonably cool, some people will definitely respond to your message. Then you can choose the best candidate amongst them!
Remember: creating choices is paramount on a reliable dating site. When we have choices, we live in abundance. By contrast, when we have no option, we live in scarcity. Let’s say you can only choose one option out of one option – chances are this is a bad option.
When you live in scarcity, you become needy, insecure and anxious. Even if you’ve found someone who has become your partner, you can still be needy, insecure and anxious. I’ve seen too many people who are already dating someone hot, but they are still anxious every day because they lack core confidence.
Dating someone alluring is good for the ego – this gives you validation, but keeping this high-quality person is a different skill. That is to say, your surface-level confidence can attract an attractive mate for you, but only your core confidence will keep this person. Now the question is… Do you have core confidence?
In order to meet high-quality people, you need external confidence; however, in order to date high-quality people, you need internal confidence.
I know many good-looking people who have met a large number of high-quality candidates – because they look attractive, they are able to get high-quality daters’ attention easily. But problems arise later on.
Let’s say you are watching a movie trailer and you think the trailer looks great. Now you go to the cinema to see the movie. Unfortunately, the movie is very boring, so you really want to leave.
Similarly, when a high-quality dater meets a good-looking individual, they may be attracted to this person’s good looks. But once they start to date this person, they find him/her boring if this person has very little to offer apart from good looks.
Based on recent research on reliable dating sites, good looks can give you external confidence – you can improve your grooming by getting a better haircut, wearing fashionable clothes, etc. This isn’t hard to achieve, especially if you also go to the gym and look after yourself well.
Yet you can’t fake internal confidence, i.e. your lifestyle confidence. By that I mean you have to build an interesting lifestyle in order to have internal confidence. For example, you derive your confidence from your career, your hobbies, your friends, and so on. In other words, your internal confidence comes from different areas in the matrix of your lifestyle, not just one area.
When your lifestyle is stimulating, you become interesting in high-quality daters’ eyes. That’s how you date high-quality people with real confidence & without anxiety.
Once you’ve met someone you like on a trusted dating site, you would be well-advised to meet this individual in person as soon as possible.
I don’t advise people to talk with other members on a trusted dating site for weeks before meeting them offline. As a matter of fact, I highly recommend meeting them in person as soon as you can.
For instance, you are talking to someone you are attracted to on a reliable dating website for twenty minutes. Now you should say something like, “I’m going to XYZ coffeehouse this afternoon. Their coffee is amazing. I think you should come!” No matter you are a guy or a girl, you can use this line because it doesn’t make you look needy at all – this is not even a question; you are not asking them anything – you just made a statement.
Note that statements are more powerful than questions because a statement shows your confidence directly. In contrast, if you ask a question like “Would you like to come?” that person actually has two questions on their mind: 1) Can I go out this afternoon? 2) Do I want to go out this afternoon?
Even if this individual can’t go out to see you this afternoon, they will make other plans with you if they like you. Therefore, you might receive a message such as “Sorry, I have to attend a meeting this afternoon. Shall I meet you on Saturday?” Now you have a date!
After you’ve met this high-quality member from the trustworthy dating site, you need to assess these two elements: 1) Is this person looking for the same thing that you are looking for? 2) Are your values and his/her values compatible?
To be honest with you, if this individual isn’t looking for a relationship but you are looking for a relationship, it’s going to be very hard to change his/her mind. Some dating experts claim that it’s impossible to change someone’s mind once they’ve made their mind in dating and relationships. Although I don’t disagree with them, I still would like to offer you some strategies in this regard.
First and foremost, if you are looking for a relationship and the person you are seeing isn’t, you need to demonstrate your high value. In other words, that person has to see that if they don’t start a relationship with you, they will miss out and may never find someone like you again.
Second, if the person you are seeing doesn’t want to be exclusive with you, you should let them do their own thing and get ready to leave. This will give you the best chance to get him/her commit to you.
“As to whether your value systems are compatible or not, you can find it out by reading their dating profile on the trustworthy dating website carefully. Of course, you should figure it out through conversations on dates – e.g. asking questions such as ‘Why do you want to be an accountant?’ and ‘What would you do if you can have a one-year vacation?’”